WELCOME TO YE OLDE
MERCHANDISE SHOPPE . . .
BEFORE
ORDERING!
Check our TOUR SCHEDULE. If we're out
of town your order will be delayed till we get home and do laundry.
Want our sloppy signatures
on your purchases? Just let us know when you order.
Quick jump to:
CDs
SHIRTS
NEW!
BOOKS
POSTER
AMPS
VINYL
PAINTINGS
Or scroll down to see all
merchandise...
Compact Discs...$15
ALL ORDERS:
Scroll down past
CD choices to find links to mail order or Paypal order.
American shipping: $2
Canadian
shipping: $2.50
or $2 if you order multiple items.
European shipping: $5.50 or $5 if you order
multiple items.
Australia/New Zealand/Asia shipping: $6 or $5.50 if
you order multiple items.
.
NEW!
NEW! AVAILABLE NOW!
"Last
Days of Wonder"
Tracks: Your Great Journey,
Tesla's Hotel Room, These Golden Jewels, After We Shot The Grizzly,
Flapping Your Broken Wings, Beautiful William, All The Time In
Airports, White Lights, Bowling Alley Bar, Hunter Green, Our Blue Sky,
Somewhere Else To Be
Read Reviews

Singing Bones--Released,
November, 2003
Tracks: The Forgotten Lake, Gail
with the Golden Hair, 24-Hour Store
The Bottomless Hole, Far From Any
Road, If the World Should End in Fire
A Shadow Underneath, Dry Bones,
Fallen Peaches, Whitehaven, Sleepy,
The Song of A Hundred Toads, If the
World Should End in Ice
READ
REVIEWS

Smothered
and Covered --Available only through this website
or at live shows and a very select few other places that have
weaseled their way into our hearts. Handsome Digipack design.13 rare recordings
that never made it onto a Handsome Family CD including odd covers,
intimate demos and orphaned songs. The CD cover is an old woodcut
of two starving orphans playing harp in the rain while rich men
ignore them and drink inside a warm building. The CD contains several
covers
(Faraway Eyes, Banks of the Ohio,
Knoxville Girl, Sunday Morning
Coming Down, I Hear a Sweet Voice Calling, Trail of Time) as
well
as a few original songs (There's a
City, Natalie Wood, Stupid
Bells), some strange instrumental pieces involving cello,
prepared
piano, vocal harmony as well as early demos of some songs we've
already released (#1 Country Song,
The Last, Down in the Ground).
Original Release Date: April 1, 2002. Here's a review
from "Uncut."
Live at Schuba's Tavern:
SORRY, NO LONGER AVAILABLE.
You can download from:
www.theorchard.com
www.emusic.com
There's also a live show available at both these places from San
Diego, The Casbah, 1/04
Twilight (reviews) 13-song CD, released September, 2001:
Tracks: The Snow White Diner, Passenger Pigeons, A Dark Eye, There is a Sound
All the TVs in Town, Gravity, Cold, Cold, Cold, No One Fell Asleep Alone
I Know You Are There, Birds You Cannot See, The White Dog, So Long, Peace in the Valley Once Again
In the Air (reviews), 11-song
CD, release date: 2/00.
Tracks: Don’t Be Scared, The Sad
Milkman, In the Air, A Beautiful Thing
So Much Wine, Up Falling Rock Hill,
Poor, Poor, Lenore, When that Helicopter Comes
Grandmother Waits for You, Lie Down,
My Beautiful Bride
Through The Trees (reviews),
13-song CD, release date: 1/98
Tracks: Weightless Again, My
Sister’s Tiny Hands, Stalled, Where the Birch Trees Lean
Cathedrals, Down in the Ground, The
Giant of Illinois, Down in the Valley of Hollow Logs
I Fell, The Woman Downstairs, Last
Night I Went out Walking, Bury Me Here, My Ghost
Milk and Scissors (reviews),
12-song CD, release date: 5 /96.
Tracks: Lake Geneva, Winnebago
Skeletons, Drunk By Noon, The House Carpenter
The Dutch Boy, The King Who Wouldn’t
Smile, Emily Shore 1819-1839
3-Legged Dog, #1 Country Song, Amelia
Earhart vs. The Dancing Bear
Tin Foil, Puddin’ Fingers
Odessa (reviews),
14-song CD,
release date: 2/95.
Tracks: Here’s Hopin’, Arlene, Pony,
One Way Up, Water into Wine
Giant Ant, Everything that Rises Must
Converge, Gorilla, The Last
Claire Said, Moving Furniture Around,
Big Bad Wolf, She Awoke with a Jerk
Happy Harvest
Down in the Valley
This is an Irish release that is a
compilation
of songs from our first three CDs plus one song from the fourth
cd. Tracks: Tinfoil, My
Sister's Tiny Hands, Lake Geneva, Weightless Again, #1 Country
Song, The Giant of Illinois, Drunk by Noon, Don't be Scared, The
House Carpenter, Arlene, The Woman Downstairs, Cathedrals, Moving
Furniture, The Dutchboy.
Invisible Hands--This
Vinyl EP is out of print. To find out what it was, read this,
MAIL
ORDER-CDs*************
CREDIT
CARD ORDER-CDs
********************************************************************************************************************
SHIRTS...
$15
(Adult:
S,M,L,XL or Ladies' Spaghetti Strap Style: Small only)
OR
Adult XXL...$16
ADULT SHIRTS: choose “octopus”
or “girl with gun” style
shirt (see photos below).
Ladies' Spaghetti Strap Style only available with "octopus" design).
ALL ORDERS:
Don't forget to choose a shirt size! Scroll down past shirt
descriptions to find links to mail order or Paypal order.
American shipping: $2.50
Canadian
shipping: $4
or $3.50 if you order multiple items.
All other countries besides USA/CANADA: $9 or $8.50 if you order
multiple items.
OCTOPUS
SHIRT:
CRAZY
ARMS-- THE HANDSOME FAMILY
PET OCTOPUS.
The color is a deep blue/green on adult shirt.
Ladies’ style is a lighter robin's egg blue.
FABRIC:
Adult shirts are 100% pre-shrunk cotton which means they will
shrink a bit still when washed (about 10%) however the sizes are
very roomy to begin with
Ladies' Shirt is 100% cotton and not pre-shrunk so probably will shrink
about 20% after washing.
ADULT SHIRT...
SIZES:
S
(26"h x 27.5"w)
M (28"h x 32.5" w)
L (28" h x 34" w)
XL (29" h x 38.5" w)
XXL (29" h x 39.5" w)
w = width sleeve edge to sleeve edge
h = height from top of back collar to hem
LADIES' SPAGHETTI STRAP...

ONE SIZE ONLY:
S (15" w x 22" h)
w = width from side to side when shirt laid flat
h = height from top of spaghetti strap to bottom hem of shirt when laid
flat
“GIRL WITH GUN” SHIRT:
A picture of a 19th century child holding a gun out in the
woods.
COLORS: Black ink on khaki
brown/paper bag color shirt (see picture below).

FABRIC:
All shirts are 100% pre-shrunk cotton which means they will
shrink a bit still when washed (about 10%) however the sizes are
very roomy to begin with.
CHOOSE YOUR SIZE:
(sorry, no ladies sizes for this shirt):
S (26"h x 27.5"w)
M (28"h x 32.5" w)
L (28" h x 34" w)
XL (29" h x 38.5" w)
XXL (29" h x 39.5" w)
w = width sleeve edge to sleeve edge
h = height from top of back collar to hem
MAIL
ORDER*************
CREDIT
CARD ORDER-Shirts
****************************************************************************************
“The Handsome Family Songbook”
Musical notation (including chords, tabs, melody, lyrics)
for 21 of our songs...$10
American shipping: $3
Canadian
shipping: $4
or $3.50 if you order multiple items.
All other countries besides USA/CANADA: $9 or $8.50 if
you order multiple items.
Songs included:
From our first CD, Odessa:
Arlene
From our second CD, Milk and
Scissors: Drunk by Noon
From our third CD, Through the
Trees: Down in the Ground, My Sister’s Tiny Hands,
The Giant of Illinois, Weightless Again
From our fourth CD, In the
Air: Grandmother Waits for You, So Much Wine, The Sad
Milkman
From our fifth CD, Twilight: A
Dark Eye, I Know You Are There, No One Fell Asleep Alone, Peace in the
Valley Once Again
From our sixth CD, Singing
Bones: 24 Hour Store, Forgotten Lake, The Bottomless
Hole, Whitehaven
From our seventh CD, Last Days of
Wonder: After We Shot the Grizzly, All the Time in Airports,
Flapping Your Broken Wings, Tesla's Hotel Room
CLICK ON
FRONT-COVER ART BELOW TO SEE SOME SAMPLE PAGES..

MAIL
ORDER-Books*************
CREDIT
CARD ORDER-Books
“Evil”
Rennie's Book of Short Stories...$10
American shipping: $3
Canadian
shipping: $4
or $3.50 if you order multiple items.
All other countries besides USA/CANADA: $9 or $8.50 if
you order multiple items.
Quick quotes about "Evil"...
Sparks'
writing, "balances
emotive sincerity and detached black comedy with thrilling precision."
--The Sunday Times of London
"W.S.
Burroughs meets Carson
McCullers."
--Philadelphia City Paper
To read some more detailed reviews
of my book click HERE
MAIL
ORDER-Books*************
CREDIT
CARD ORDER-Books
****************************************************************************************
ALL NEW AMPS! MORE
DETAILS! PRICES!
HERE ARE LOVELY
GUITAR AMPS MADE BY OUR
FRIEND GREG HANSEN
POSTERS
...
CURRENTLY WE'RE SOLD-OUT OF POSTERS.
Please check back in a few months.
MAIL
ORDER-Posters************
CREDIT
CARD ORDER-Posters
VINYL
FCURRENTLY
WE'RE SOLD-OUT OF VINYL RECORDS.
Please check back in a few months.
MAIL
ORDER********* CREDIT
CARD ORDER
HOME
/ BIOGRAPHY / PRESS
and PHOTOS / CONTACT / LISTEN / LINKS